Dear Declan,

Before any more time passes, I want to let you know how amazing the past 5 weeks have been. I'm going to break it down, week by week if I can cause that's just how I do things.

Day 1 / Week 1
My entire world changed the moment I saw you. The Dr. pulled you out of my belly and the entire operating room staff erupted into laughter. When you came out your legs were sticking straight up in the air, with your feet up by your ears. They immediately took you to the warmer and wiped you off. It was there that Daddy touched you for the first time. That was the best view EVER! While they were closing up my incision, I looked over at the two of you and felt so full of love and joy. Daddy was stroking your cheek and you had put that little hand of yours right on his wrist. A minute or two later the nurses wrapped you up and put you right on my chest. I couldn't believe how perfect you were. So quiet and peaceful. You smelled sweet and your skin was so soft. Daddy and I held you there for the remainder of the time that they were closing me up.

The next couple days in the hospital were great! You were the best baby and everyone kept commenting on how perfect you were. I loved just holding you on my chest and laying you on my pillow to watch you sleep. We slept skin to skin a lot that first week and it was amazing. You were born on a Friday and we went home that following Monday. Our first night home I could hardly sleep. And I didn't sleep at all the first night you were born. I was too excited! I couldn't believe you were actually here! Everyone kept saying how tiny you were, but I loved how you fit with me no matter what. I cupped your head in my hand and your tiny little fingers wrapped around my fingers while you nursed. Oh, and your cry is one of the cutest sounds I've ever heard. (Not saying that I liked you crying... but even the sound of your cry was super cute). The nurses also kept making comments on how expressive you were whenever they'd take you to the nursery for vitals and such. You weren't awake a whole lot, which is normal... but when you were the eyes were open and you would just stare at me. That first week at home was awesome too. Daddy was home with us, which made it the best week ever. That Tuesday you met Dr. Mike and even he said you were perfect. Nathan came over that Wednesday and met you for the first time. He was so excited and LOVED seeing you finally. We were all together for a couple days after that and even took our first trip to the park that Friday. It was a great way to spend your 1 week birthday! Gosh it went by fast. That Saturday you attended your very first wedding: Jennifer and Ryan Daberkow. It was very beautiful and you did so much better than I could have expected. Almost my entire office was there and they all loved seeing you.

Week 2
Unfortunately, Daddy had to go back to work this week. I still wasn't allowed to drive so we just hung out at home. But it was nice because friends stopped by for visits. Everyone wants to come over and hold you! When folks weren't here you and I did a lot of napping and hanging out. I didn't say a whole lot, but we did a lot of staring at each other. This week you and I kind of had a routine. You definitely slept in shorter stints of time. You would wake up and nurse for about 20-30 minutes and then be awake for an hour or so. Then fall asleep for a couple hours. In the middle of the night we'd be up for a little over an hour. You woke up around 1:30am and then again between 3-4am. Not really any big changes this week. My boss and friend came by to see you during lunch time, but you were sound asleep. You definitely like to nap around lunch time:-) That's also my favorite time of the day to sleep.

Week 3
This week I was able to drive again, YAY! While I was so excited to be driving again so we could leave the house, I was absolutely petrified of driving in the car with you alone in case you started to fuss. We had Dr. appointments that Tuesday and Wednesday. The Tuesday appt was in Aurora, which is far away, so I was really nervous. But, in true Declan form, you did GREAT! You slept the entire time and acted as if nothing happened when we got home. It was a great success and gave me the confidence to leave the house more often. This week we had your two week follow up appointment with Dr. Mike. It was a little over 2 weeks because he was on vacation, but that was ok. Your head measured in the 75%, weight and height in 30%. You were back to your birth weight, which was good... but Dr. Mike had hoped you would have gained a little more weight. Not to worry he said - everything still sounded like it was going great. However, I immediately began to worry cause I don't want you to be underweight. That isn't a good thing. The morning before your Dr. appointment I took you to my work. All the ladies just LOVED seeing you and eventually passed you around so they could all hold you. Again, everyone commented on how perfect and beautiful you were. I just kept saying, "I know;-)" We got to participate in the birthday celebration for Jennifer D, who had recently gotten married, and Aunt Liz announced that I had also been promoted. There was delicious pie and it was great seeing all my work friends. I miss them a lot. Not the work though!

Week 4
Not a whole lot going on this week. This Monday we had to go to Children's Hospital so they could do an ultrasound on your little hips. Because you were born breech, it is common for the hip joints to not form properly. As a precaution we had to get it checked out. Of course I was nervous, but we got the results the next day that everything was just fine. Whew! More friends came by to visit, which was great. I love talking with my friends and seeing them hold you. It makes me feel good to know that you will grow up knowing all the people that are special to me, and Daddy too. The week before, this week and the next after Nathan was with us during the day Wed- Fri. You loved it when he would talk to you and touch your feet, head and hands. He is so gentle with you, but loves you so much. I think CC (Aunt Celeste) visited this weekend as well. She comes down to see you as much as possible and holds you almost the entire time she's over. You love sleeping on her chest and look so peaceful. She comes in and says, "Give me my baby!" Her eyes literally light up when she sees you and I know her heart swells with each breath you take. You are a very lucky boy.

Week 5
The beginning of the week started out a little stressful. You have been eating a LOT more lately, or maybe more frequently and we were worried that you weren't getting enough to eat. So I called a lactation consultant and made an appointment for that Monday. Of course within a few minutes of the appointment I learned we had nothing to worry about. You had gained the perfect number of ounces that Dr. Mike wanted and both ladies reassured me that you were doing great. They gave me some great tips and lots of helpful information. Physically I guess you are a little bit bigger. Your onesies fit snuggly and items that were so big before have filled in over the past couple weeks. Then that Friday (5 weeks old!) we went to see Daddy at work in Arvada. Nathan was with us and we got to walk around meeting Daddy's friends and co-workers. Afterward we went to see my friend Stephen. Later that night we had open house at Nathan's school for kindergarten. Your big brother is starting school! It was a very busy day, but again - you did great.

Overall I have felt so much better since seeing the lactation consultants knowing that we are doing things right. I can tell you are gaining weight, which makes me feel good. But also a little sad because it means you are growing up already. You have a cute little double chin, your skin is smooth and soft, and certain parts of you are filling out more each day. By this point you stay awake for about 2 hours at a time. You look at me or Daddy for minutes at a time but seem to mostly be interested in what's behind us on the walls. Daddy has lots of artwork placed around so there is always something neat to look at. Our midnight feedings have shortened quite a bit, but are still pretty quiet. You still hold onto one of my fingers when you are eating, which I love. You don't really cry unless you are hungry, tired or have a messy diaper. OH! My best friend, Krissi, had her little boy - Ethan. She and I have been able to text in the night which has been really great.

One of the best things ever these past few weeks has been when you are sleeping and do this cute little laugh. You'll have the sleepy, straight face and then all of a sudden, your mouth will open a little bit and then it will creep into a smile. Then this super cute high pitch laugh comes out. LOVE IT!!!! I haven't been able to get it on film yet, but oh my goodness it's so stinkin cute. Thankfully Daddy got to hear it after a few times of me telling him about it. We really just can't get enough of you. We stare at you in complete awe of how amazing you are. Neither one of us ever imagined that we could create something so perfect, and here you are. My friend, Christine, gave us a book called, "My wish come true" and it is a perfect story of you and I. You see, Declan... all my life I dreamed of having a baby. But one night in October as I was driving home from having had a massage, I looked up to the stars and prayed to God that he would bless us with a baby. I prayed that His will would be done and that if He did bless us with such a precious gift, that we would also be given all the necessary means to take care of you. Boy did He provide! During the course of my pregnancy, I often prayed to God that you would be all sorts of wonderful things. Daddy and I look forward to watching you grow as all of those prayers come true.

You are everything that Daddy and I have ever wanted. You are our wish come true. You are a gift from God. You are perfect in every way and we love you with all that we are.