First off - I am not afraid to admit that Ace and I have been in marriage counseling since late August. We've gone once a week and it has helped tremendously along with reading certain books, attending a marriage class at church and just spending quality time on our relationship. Now, having said that I feel that it is always important to share what we learn with others. Who knows what we might learn from each other?
What is marriage? One of the first assignments we were given was to really analyze and express our expectations of the marriage we are in. Oddly enough, we did not have the same expectations. SHOCKER! (you might sense some sarcasm on occasion) So yeah, his expectation of marriage was completely different than my own. SO we listed the major stuff out on paper and described in detail exactly what each trait meant. Then in our sessions we talked through every expectation and asked the other person if they felt it was possible to meet that. It took 3 sessions to get through, but in the end was a great exercise. In our class, the first night we were reminded that the mindset we both have to be in, in order to learn, is negotiation and acceptance. We have to ask ourselves, "What is our purpose as a couple?" It sparked a lot of great discussion and was really nice to just hear what the other spouse is thinking/feeling about our marriage.
What are the differences between men and women? Other than the obvious. Now - this area really rocks my mind and seriously opened up HUGE avenues of understanding for me. I felt like a thousand light bulbs went off all at once. It was great. I'm going to try and breakdown all the stuff I learned in each medium.
Class: Men - they report. They compete with each other. They long for independence and enjoy a struggle. They are very guarded with each other. They want to make sure that THEY are the ones making a decision. What can they do differently? LISTEN in a different way to what women are saying. Women - they repore. We connect. We ask for a consensus and always want to know what others are doing. What can we do differently? We can talk to men in a better way - BE SPECIFIC! And also understand that most men understand logic - not emotions.
I love this stat: Women use 35,000 words a day. Men use 3,500. HA!
Books: So for 3 weeks I begged Ace to read the book Wild At Heart. I think I posted a note about it before, but I will mention it again here. This book is awesome. Along with the basic understanding that men just flat out don't communicate like women. And society in general is trying to force men to communicate like women. Well I am not going to do that anymore! I am going to learn my husbands language and as our instructor says in class - Become the expert on your spouse!! I know that a lot of this stuff is basic, but yet we don't take it into practice. Ok. So the other book that was good for us was From Anger to Intimacy. Right now we are reading Saving Your Second Marriage Before (or during!) It Begins. A lot of the books stress the same points over and over again but when your marriage has been in trouble for a period of time, I think it's important to have repetition. Then it becomes ingrained in the brain.
What do women want to know? That their relationship is secure! What do men want to know? That they are the hero!
What do we know about commitment? So this class was more of a reminder for me than anything. I know I'm already committed, but how much - that is something I forget all to easily. That night I was reminded that when I said "I do" to Ace, I meant, I will be there through thick AND thin. For better AND worse. For rich AND poor. It's so easy to say, I just want a thick, better, rich marriage. But that's just not life. We also did a little recap on some flow chart stuff that I haven't seen in a few years. We start out with attraction, move to time together, then to attachment, then to commitment and onto marriage. Of course a lot of relationships get stuck in the attachment/commitment phases and sort of go around in circles there.
Communication and having fights. First of all, for whatever reason there is a myth or idea out there that being angry and having arguments is a bad thing. IT'S NOT! Now, I recognize that not everyone is as confrontational as I am. SHOCK! But still, we need to learn how to fight in a healthy way. Or even how to have a discussion. One of the items brought up this last week was when women ask men a question and there is always a pause. Our instructor told us - men need about 1.5 minute to process their answer. That's why they usually say, "I don't know" when we ask them something right away. Their pause doesn't mean they don't care or aren't paying attention. It simply means they need a little bit of time to think of an answer.
The Floor Technique. Have you ever heard of this? I have several years ago and it's a very challenging tool for me to use. It forces you to slow down. It forces you to abandon any thoughts or ideas you have while the other person is talking and really listen to what they are saying. What a concept, huh? It's HARD!!
After all of it I have realized just how much like an infant I am. At least in marriage. Yes, I learned a LOT from my first marriage. But there is still so much to learn in this one. It's a new person. We are a unit. ONE FLESH. I have never been that with anyone else. And this is to be taken very seriously. It takes lots of work and effort. Thankfully, Ace is patient and has openly committed himself to me and to our marriage. And while you may think that happens when you get married - it does. But you have to do it over and over again with every trial you face together as a couple.
K. That's it for now.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Ah... the sweet stench of cow poo
Yep. That's what you smell here right before it snows. About 1 day prior, in fact. Ugh. The other morning it was dumping snow all over the place and all the weather people were like, "Yes, so this will continue through the morning and die off early afternoon." NOT. It snowed all day. Thankfully, our ground is still too warm for anything to stick so it all melted and turned to slush.
Ok. Update from last time. Our anniversary was last night. Ace and I exchanged gifts. I gave him two new photos for his desk. Both of me and the squirt. He made me a special poem that he put on one of our wedding pictures. SOOOOOOOO beautiful. I'll see if I can post. Anyways, CC came over to watch the kid while we went to dinner. No bowling. We'll have to do that another time. Unfortunately, our din din wasn't all that great. Which is alright because we can do something nice and better another time. But our time together was great and that's all that counts. YAY!
Last weekend was fun. Saturday we went to the birthday party. The squirt had a BLAST and was all huggy with the other kids. It was so great. I couldn't stop smiling. Afterward we went to the pumpkin patch where he ate a 1/4 lb corn dog!! I couldn't believe it. We picked out our pumpkins and took some pictures and made some kiddy crafts. And what amazing weather! It was literally the perfect day. Then on Sunday Ace and I did laundry, cleaned and just hung out. It was great.
This weekend has been uneventful. Saturday we took the squirt to KP for his annual flu shot. Thankfully, times have evolved and he got to do this nose mist thing. Whew. Afterward we headed to the park. Fed the ducks and seagulls lots of stale bread and then went to the playground for a bit. The library is within walking distance from the park so we went over there and got some new books and a couple kiddo movies. In the evenings Ace and I have watched a couple movies. Friday night it was Gran Torino and last night it was Away We Go. Both were pretty good. The last couple movies before were kinda lame. OH! And I got new tires on the car yesterday. We are slowly getting ready for our ROAD TRIP!! Today was church and the sermon was good. A little hard to get into, but still good.
K. Books posts to come shortly. Along with other stuff.
Ok. Update from last time. Our anniversary was last night. Ace and I exchanged gifts. I gave him two new photos for his desk. Both of me and the squirt. He made me a special poem that he put on one of our wedding pictures. SOOOOOOOO beautiful. I'll see if I can post. Anyways, CC came over to watch the kid while we went to dinner. No bowling. We'll have to do that another time. Unfortunately, our din din wasn't all that great. Which is alright because we can do something nice and better another time. But our time together was great and that's all that counts. YAY!
Last weekend was fun. Saturday we went to the birthday party. The squirt had a BLAST and was all huggy with the other kids. It was so great. I couldn't stop smiling. Afterward we went to the pumpkin patch where he ate a 1/4 lb corn dog!! I couldn't believe it. We picked out our pumpkins and took some pictures and made some kiddy crafts. And what amazing weather! It was literally the perfect day. Then on Sunday Ace and I did laundry, cleaned and just hung out. It was great.
This weekend has been uneventful. Saturday we took the squirt to KP for his annual flu shot. Thankfully, times have evolved and he got to do this nose mist thing. Whew. Afterward we headed to the park. Fed the ducks and seagulls lots of stale bread and then went to the playground for a bit. The library is within walking distance from the park so we went over there and got some new books and a couple kiddo movies. In the evenings Ace and I have watched a couple movies. Friday night it was Gran Torino and last night it was Away We Go. Both were pretty good. The last couple movies before were kinda lame. OH! And I got new tires on the car yesterday. We are slowly getting ready for our ROAD TRIP!! Today was church and the sermon was good. A little hard to get into, but still good.
K. Books posts to come shortly. Along with other stuff.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
It's the middle of October already...
And a lot has happened already. The first weekend we had the squirt on our usual Friday night. The weather was nice, sunny and a little cool but we braved it and went mini-golfing. It was really fun. Each of us got a hole in one, and of course we got a picture of N with his. It was so cute!! Afterward we had some yummy pizza and headed home. That Saturday I had an eye appointment. Turns out that my vision issues may not be prescription related, but more fatigue from starring at a computer all day. What a shocker!! I picked out some new glasses (so much better than 20 years ago) and then went back home. We packed up and headed to the PARIS STREET MARKET! GAH!!!! It was the last one of the season. I was really good and didn't buy even one item. Ace grabbed me some delicious kettle corn though. After that we went to the park so N could play for a bit. Unfortunately he wasn't feeling all that well, so we didn't stay long. I actually popped over to the library and checked out some neato kids books. They are so adorable. Then - as if we hadn't done enough already - there was a muscle mini-car show down the street from our place. We thought N might like it so we went by there. As expected, he thought they were sooooo cool. There were a couple old Fords that were completely decked out. Neat colors! Then it was nap time.
I later dog sat for Fletcher. He's a sweet goldie I watch on occasion. He and I hung out and watched a couple movies. Some foreign flick that I can't remember the name of and another film called Grey Gardens. Both were - eh. Nothing spectacular. Sunday we had planned to go to church but I had a migraine. It went away just in time for a fabulous brunch at The Bump & Grind Cafe with my co-worker. The food is soo good and the atmosphere is pretty fun. I enjoy it:-) Later on Ace and I enjoyed the night. The week flew by again and in no time Friday was here. I got off work at 1:30ish and headed home. My friend, Bean, and I headed to New Mexico to see our dear girlfriend S. I am so thankful that Bean drove with me because the trip I took in December last year was a little lonely.
SO Albuquerque... it's not exactly the most beautiful place I've seen, but it has cool stuff. This particular weekend was the Balloon Fiesta. We got in sort of late Friday night and thought about getting up early to see the launch on Saturday morning... but instead I wussed out and requested to sleep in. SORRY! I like and need my sleep. So we had an alternative. S's hubby propped his snazzy ladder against the house and we climbed up onto the roof. The view was amazing! I took all sorts of pictures - at my picasa site in an album. Yes, I was a little disappointed in myself for not dragging my fat butt out of bed, but the rooftop view was pretty neato. After that we had a terrific breakfast prepared for us by S's groom. Then us chicks got showered and ready. We had an appointment at 11am at the St. James Tea House. Now, I'm a major herbal tea lover, but I have never experienced tea like this before. It was INCREDIBLE!! We were all served 3 different types of tea along with 3 plates of food. Pictures of everything are on picasa. We had such a wonderful time! I felt so feminine and girlie sipping tea and talking with my gal pals. Afterward we stopped by Target briefly and then got PEDICURES!! Well, S and I got pedi's while Bean got a mani. Then we headed back to the house and chilled with the fam. I napped. Once dinner time came around we headed out to Little Anita's. Now, the first time we visited, that's where we went for lunch on our last day and I had the most amazing fried ice cream ever. EVER!! SO - I had to go back. Well, we pull up and immediately something was wrong. This place was closing at 8 on a Sat night. Then we go to place our orders and I ask the question, "Excuse me. Do you have fried ice cream?" Response: "No ma'am, we do not." WTF????? And they didn't serve alcohol so margaritas were out too. Regardless we ate our din din and headed home. Us ladies sat up for a bit and gabbed. Headed to bed at a decent hour with plans to wake up early (for real this time).
Sunday morning - 5:30am S comes in and wakes us up. We got warm and toasty in our layers and then drove to the parking lot. Once at the lot we all boarded on the school bus just like we were a bunch of large, overgrown kids. For me - it wasn't the best feeling. I despised riding the school bus. I never had friends on there - except when I lived in NC in elementary school and met my oldest BFFF. Anyways... we get to the field, unload, waited in line for a bit only to get in for free. COOL! Then we got some hot chocolate and walked over to where the balloons were. Then, as if this guy was reading our mind, made an announcement over the loud speaker that the launch was being canceled. Did I mention it was a little windy? Um... yeah... it was blowin just a little. Got back on the bus, went back to the house and I went back to bed. LOL. After sleeping in for a bit we had some fabulous raspberry turnovers that S made. I LOVE THESE THINGS!! Ok, so after stuffing our faces and getting cleaned up, Bean and I headed out for a bit. S was exhausted and needed a nap. We went to a fabulous Arts & Crafts show on the other side of the highway. I've been to a lot of art shows but this one was really cool. The art was very original and just overall very pretty. Makes me wish I had a disposable income:-) While we were there we came across a couple things. 1) A local winery that had some fantastic wines. I bought one and loved it. SOOO good. 2) A gal from Littleton there selling some neato bags. And if you know me - you know I am a major bag whore. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Hee hee. That night S made us a delicious dinner. She is such a great chef! After that we played a game of Trivial Pursuit. It has literally been probably 7 years since I played this game. And after 2 hours of losing, we looked at what the copyright date was. 1981. SERIOUSLY???? No wonder I felt like a tard. UGH! But it was fun. I got sassy and we laughed a lot.
Monday Bean and I had the day off so after sleeping in some and eating a hearty breakfast we hit the road. I am proud to say that we made it back in a normal time. Just a little shy of 6 hours. Not bad - and I only went like 8 miles over the speed limit. So chill!
I have been dog sitting Miss Eliza, Miss Maxine and Miss Lily since Monday afternoon. One dog, two cats. Not a bad commute either! I'm 15 minutes away from work and I get to hang out with awesome kids. I love it.
This weekend is going to be super duper fun too! I have been looking forward to it for over a week. The Chatfield Botanical Gardens postponed their pumpkin patch festival to this coming weekend. AND we have a 5 year old's birthday party at the jumping place. I love doing kid stuff with N and seeing him light up. It's so... unpredictable. Sat night and Sunday I'm hoping Ace and I can have some alone time and work through some stuff. Ya know... discuss bills and goals and whatever else. We'll see.
AND then - our 2 year anniversary is on Tuesday! I don't know why, but it really snuck up on me this year. We'll have the squirt, so I think we should go to dinner somewhere and do something fun again. Maybe bowling? Hmm... good food... bowling... I think I know of a place that can provide all that and more! More posts will follow after that I'm sure.
Ok. That's it for now. I still have lots to blog about. Music. Movies. Books. Internal discovery and more emotional/mental analytics stuff. Just wait til my pysch class starts on Nov 2nd. LOL.
Toodles!!
I later dog sat for Fletcher. He's a sweet goldie I watch on occasion. He and I hung out and watched a couple movies. Some foreign flick that I can't remember the name of and another film called Grey Gardens. Both were - eh. Nothing spectacular. Sunday we had planned to go to church but I had a migraine. It went away just in time for a fabulous brunch at The Bump & Grind Cafe with my co-worker. The food is soo good and the atmosphere is pretty fun. I enjoy it:-) Later on Ace and I enjoyed the night. The week flew by again and in no time Friday was here. I got off work at 1:30ish and headed home. My friend, Bean, and I headed to New Mexico to see our dear girlfriend S. I am so thankful that Bean drove with me because the trip I took in December last year was a little lonely.
SO Albuquerque... it's not exactly the most beautiful place I've seen, but it has cool stuff. This particular weekend was the Balloon Fiesta. We got in sort of late Friday night and thought about getting up early to see the launch on Saturday morning... but instead I wussed out and requested to sleep in. SORRY! I like and need my sleep. So we had an alternative. S's hubby propped his snazzy ladder against the house and we climbed up onto the roof. The view was amazing! I took all sorts of pictures - at my picasa site in an album. Yes, I was a little disappointed in myself for not dragging my fat butt out of bed, but the rooftop view was pretty neato. After that we had a terrific breakfast prepared for us by S's groom. Then us chicks got showered and ready. We had an appointment at 11am at the St. James Tea House. Now, I'm a major herbal tea lover, but I have never experienced tea like this before. It was INCREDIBLE!! We were all served 3 different types of tea along with 3 plates of food. Pictures of everything are on picasa. We had such a wonderful time! I felt so feminine and girlie sipping tea and talking with my gal pals. Afterward we stopped by Target briefly and then got PEDICURES!! Well, S and I got pedi's while Bean got a mani. Then we headed back to the house and chilled with the fam. I napped. Once dinner time came around we headed out to Little Anita's. Now, the first time we visited, that's where we went for lunch on our last day and I had the most amazing fried ice cream ever. EVER!! SO - I had to go back. Well, we pull up and immediately something was wrong. This place was closing at 8 on a Sat night. Then we go to place our orders and I ask the question, "Excuse me. Do you have fried ice cream?" Response: "No ma'am, we do not." WTF????? And they didn't serve alcohol so margaritas were out too. Regardless we ate our din din and headed home. Us ladies sat up for a bit and gabbed. Headed to bed at a decent hour with plans to wake up early (for real this time).
Sunday morning - 5:30am S comes in and wakes us up. We got warm and toasty in our layers and then drove to the parking lot. Once at the lot we all boarded on the school bus just like we were a bunch of large, overgrown kids. For me - it wasn't the best feeling. I despised riding the school bus. I never had friends on there - except when I lived in NC in elementary school and met my oldest BFFF. Anyways... we get to the field, unload, waited in line for a bit only to get in for free. COOL! Then we got some hot chocolate and walked over to where the balloons were. Then, as if this guy was reading our mind, made an announcement over the loud speaker that the launch was being canceled. Did I mention it was a little windy? Um... yeah... it was blowin just a little. Got back on the bus, went back to the house and I went back to bed. LOL. After sleeping in for a bit we had some fabulous raspberry turnovers that S made. I LOVE THESE THINGS!! Ok, so after stuffing our faces and getting cleaned up, Bean and I headed out for a bit. S was exhausted and needed a nap. We went to a fabulous Arts & Crafts show on the other side of the highway. I've been to a lot of art shows but this one was really cool. The art was very original and just overall very pretty. Makes me wish I had a disposable income:-) While we were there we came across a couple things. 1) A local winery that had some fantastic wines. I bought one and loved it. SOOO good. 2) A gal from Littleton there selling some neato bags. And if you know me - you know I am a major bag whore. I'm not ashamed to admit it. Hee hee. That night S made us a delicious dinner. She is such a great chef! After that we played a game of Trivial Pursuit. It has literally been probably 7 years since I played this game. And after 2 hours of losing, we looked at what the copyright date was. 1981. SERIOUSLY???? No wonder I felt like a tard. UGH! But it was fun. I got sassy and we laughed a lot.
Monday Bean and I had the day off so after sleeping in some and eating a hearty breakfast we hit the road. I am proud to say that we made it back in a normal time. Just a little shy of 6 hours. Not bad - and I only went like 8 miles over the speed limit. So chill!
I have been dog sitting Miss Eliza, Miss Maxine and Miss Lily since Monday afternoon. One dog, two cats. Not a bad commute either! I'm 15 minutes away from work and I get to hang out with awesome kids. I love it.
This weekend is going to be super duper fun too! I have been looking forward to it for over a week. The Chatfield Botanical Gardens postponed their pumpkin patch festival to this coming weekend. AND we have a 5 year old's birthday party at the jumping place. I love doing kid stuff with N and seeing him light up. It's so... unpredictable. Sat night and Sunday I'm hoping Ace and I can have some alone time and work through some stuff. Ya know... discuss bills and goals and whatever else. We'll see.
AND then - our 2 year anniversary is on Tuesday! I don't know why, but it really snuck up on me this year. We'll have the squirt, so I think we should go to dinner somewhere and do something fun again. Maybe bowling? Hmm... good food... bowling... I think I know of a place that can provide all that and more! More posts will follow after that I'm sure.
Ok. That's it for now. I still have lots to blog about. Music. Movies. Books. Internal discovery and more emotional/mental analytics stuff. Just wait til my pysch class starts on Nov 2nd. LOL.
Toodles!!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Birthday and updates
I realized after a few hours last night that I haven't updated on my birthday. First of all, it was one of the best days EVER. It started off that Friday night when I got in from Portland. Ace and the squirt came to pick me up and of course the little man was sound asleep in his car seat. I arrived home to find some beautiful flowers (posted in my picasa pics) and a semi clean home. Then that Saturday after breakfast we got ready and headed out to pick up my NEW CAR!!!!!!!!! WHOO HOO!!! Pics also on picasa. Walked in, signed some papers and drove home. Nate-dog was soo cute. For the rest of the weekend he asked if we could ride in Mimi's race car. LOL. I had asked if we could have him the whole weekend since it was my b-day and Ace and I had that Monday off. So Saturday we drove around in the new car. Went to the park I think and something else that night. Then Sunday we had some breakfast and headed of to church. Of course the sermon was so meaningful and kiddo went to Sunday school without a fuss. Afterward we went to the library, but they weren't yet open so we hung out at the park for a bit. Then checked out some books... and cruised back home. Then that evening after naps Ace made my favorite dish from an Italian restaurant in Denver and we finished it all off with ICE CREAM CAKE!! Then, as an added treat we went bowling. Yeah, it was 9 pm and we explained to Nate-dog that it was way past his bed time but this was a special occasion. The 3 of us had a blast! Of course it was the topic of conversation for the next week. But so what? Kids can be hard to please sometimes! Then Monday we slept in some, ate some breakfast and crept over to the pool. We hung out there for a couple hours and enjoyed the day off. The water was warm but refreshing... the sun was shining... there were a couple kids around and it was just all around nice. Got home - napped. Then, sadly the squirt had to go home. I hated to see him go. It was just too sad. Ace and I had a quiet evening alone together and enjoyed more ice cream cake. YUM! Overall - it was a terrific weekend. I got a new car and spent the entire weekend with my favorite boys. Ahhhh....
Ok. Updates on other stuff. Work is still really busy. Last week was nuts. They warned me that the last day in a pay period is busy because all our clients send in work they want done RIGHT then. Well I experienced that full well on Friday. I came home and wanted to sleep. But instead I soldiered on and attended the Women of Faith conference in downtown Denver. It was awesome. I love those ladies and the Good News they spread. It's like water for my soul. Got home close to midnight, slept in a little and went back for more on Saturday. Unfortunately, my breakfast didn't agree with me and I ended up getting super sick to my stomach. I called Ace and had him come pick me up. I ended up in a college administration building with no one around - thankfully - and tried to give Ace directions. We made it home where I rest for a bit. I feel fine now.. but I don't think I can drink OJ anymore. Oh well, it could be worse. So yeah... work is busy. I'm still really enjoying the work and things have slowed down some to a point where I feel like every day or two I can get a certain area organized. I have post it notes on everything and surround myself with eclectic art in an effort to overpower the sense of living in a "cube". But the people I work with are great.
I start class again in about 4-5 weeks. It's online, but still... homework is around the bend. In all my free time I've been trying to see friends or just being lazy. Ace and I have been trying to read together and spend quality time together, so that's good. I'll post more about my readings later.
The apartment is still good. We've gotten a lot of art up and it feels more like a home now. I think we've settled in nicely and I could easily see us staying here for a bit. At least long enough for us to get back on track with our credit and finances. It's one small step toward the big goals.
The squirt is too cute. He says the most incredible things every day. I swear he grows another half inch each week. OH! Our big news is that we are taking him with us on a ROAD TRIP!! Yep, with the new wheels we are heading to San Diego for Thanksgiving to be with Ace's family. I can't wait to take him to the beach and the zoo there. GAH! So much fun to look forward too. Not that we don't have fun here. Even tonight we painted for a couple hours and made a couple greeting cards. He also painted some sun catchers for the windows. I love doing crafts and it's not until I'm doing them again that I realize home much I miss being creative. Did I mention that I finished knitting one sock? I DID! One more to go. Then I want to make something each for Nate and Ace. Matching beanies maybe?? Thoughts? Ideas?
So yeah... I guess that's about it. I'm makin sweet tea like kool aid and lovin it. Got the kid hooked on it too. Um. Cats are doing well. And so now I'm off to bed.
Ok. Updates on other stuff. Work is still really busy. Last week was nuts. They warned me that the last day in a pay period is busy because all our clients send in work they want done RIGHT then. Well I experienced that full well on Friday. I came home and wanted to sleep. But instead I soldiered on and attended the Women of Faith conference in downtown Denver. It was awesome. I love those ladies and the Good News they spread. It's like water for my soul. Got home close to midnight, slept in a little and went back for more on Saturday. Unfortunately, my breakfast didn't agree with me and I ended up getting super sick to my stomach. I called Ace and had him come pick me up. I ended up in a college administration building with no one around - thankfully - and tried to give Ace directions. We made it home where I rest for a bit. I feel fine now.. but I don't think I can drink OJ anymore. Oh well, it could be worse. So yeah... work is busy. I'm still really enjoying the work and things have slowed down some to a point where I feel like every day or two I can get a certain area organized. I have post it notes on everything and surround myself with eclectic art in an effort to overpower the sense of living in a "cube". But the people I work with are great.
I start class again in about 4-5 weeks. It's online, but still... homework is around the bend. In all my free time I've been trying to see friends or just being lazy. Ace and I have been trying to read together and spend quality time together, so that's good. I'll post more about my readings later.
The apartment is still good. We've gotten a lot of art up and it feels more like a home now. I think we've settled in nicely and I could easily see us staying here for a bit. At least long enough for us to get back on track with our credit and finances. It's one small step toward the big goals.
The squirt is too cute. He says the most incredible things every day. I swear he grows another half inch each week. OH! Our big news is that we are taking him with us on a ROAD TRIP!! Yep, with the new wheels we are heading to San Diego for Thanksgiving to be with Ace's family. I can't wait to take him to the beach and the zoo there. GAH! So much fun to look forward too. Not that we don't have fun here. Even tonight we painted for a couple hours and made a couple greeting cards. He also painted some sun catchers for the windows. I love doing crafts and it's not until I'm doing them again that I realize home much I miss being creative. Did I mention that I finished knitting one sock? I DID! One more to go. Then I want to make something each for Nate and Ace. Matching beanies maybe?? Thoughts? Ideas?
So yeah... I guess that's about it. I'm makin sweet tea like kool aid and lovin it. Got the kid hooked on it too. Um. Cats are doing well. And so now I'm off to bed.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Pictures!!
http://picasaweb.google.com/megyphishangel?feat=email
I think if you copy and paste the above link into your web browser, you should be able to view my pics!!
So far I have Seattle and Portland up along with some pics of the squirt and my fabulous new ride.
ENJOY!!!!
<3
megs
I think if you copy and paste the above link into your web browser, you should be able to view my pics!!
So far I have Seattle and Portland up along with some pics of the squirt and my fabulous new ride.
ENJOY!!!!
<3
megs
I have missed reading books for fun
Textbooks just aren't as interesting. Who would have thought, huh? So yeah, Ace and I just finished a really good book called From Anger to Intimacy by Smalley and Cunningham. It talks a lot about forgiveness and how it relates to what God wants for your life. Overall, I thought it was a really good book. I learned that I obviously have some anger issues and also a lot of forgiving that I need to seek out as well as give out. It's so interesting to me how much time is actually spent on being upset at someone or holding a grudge. I believe that we only have one life and it's pretty short in comparison to eternity. I'd sort of like to make the most of my time here.
The book talks about 3 ways of dealing with anger. Stuffing. Spewing. Studying. I am a spewer. I can't help it. If I keep it inside too long it festers and eventually eats away at my thoughts or emotions. But the book offers 2 simple questions. What am I angry about? And What am I going to do with my anger? Basic, but profound. It also talks about figuring out what your buttons are and recognizing them when they are pushed. If you can identify your buttons and communicate them to your spouse, lots of arguments might be saved. Then there's responsibility. If there's anything I learned from this book it is how to properly take responsibility for my anger. First I need to take a time out. Then I call out to God. After that I can choose a different reaction. I am 100 % empowered to control my own thoughts.
The most beneficial thing for me was reading about forgiveness. I have forgiven many people numerous times but I've often done it with a condition. I can't do that anymore. It isn't right. I learned that when I forgive someone, I need to do it again and again. Sometimes for days or months. And I also need to learn to forget. It's hard to imagine ever forgetting some of the events I've witnessed in life, but the author talks about specifically letting go of those moments. When you start to relive those moments that hurt you again and again, you MUST remind yourself of all the ways you have sinned and how God has forgiven you 100 times over without even a thought. That idea alone helps me forget all the wrongs that have taken place against me. It's hard, believe me. But it can be done.
Five Keys to Cultivating a Forgiving Spirit
1. Be tender with Your Spouse
2. Practice Empathy
3. Affirm Hurt and Admit Any Wrong
4. Touch Gently
5. Seek Forgiveness and Wait for a Response
Now, I think those keys can be used with any relationship. I tend to use this soon in a relationship that has been rocky for sometime now.
Another great book I read last weekend is called Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. Oh my gosh - this book changed my life. It's about discovering the secrets of a man's soul. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. Ace read it in a day!! Here's what the back of the jacket reads:
Every man was once a boy. And every little boy has dreams, big dreams of being the hero, of beating the bad guys, of doing daring feats and rescuing the damsel in distress. Every little girl has dreams, too: of being rescued by her prince and swept up into a great adventure, knowing that she is the beauty. But what happens to those dreams when we grow up? Walk into most churches, have a look around, and ask yourself: What is a Christian man? Without listening to what is said, look at what you find there. Most Christian men are...bored.
In Wild at Heart, the author invites men to recover their masculine heart, defined in the image of a passionate God. And he invites women to discover the secret of a man's soul and to delight in the strength and wildness men were created to offer.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. I wish all women would read it. I feel like I can understand men better and definitely understand the squirt better. The author basically says that we are raising boys to be like women. But the truth is - they aren't. And they never will be! GAH! Again, so so so basic, but yet profound. I already feel like I want to be a better wife and mother. Or even a better coworker!! I look at the men I work with - they are BORED. They are programed to do what their wives want them to do that they have forgotten where they come from and what burns deep inside them. It's sad!
Anyhoo... we are moving on to Eldredge's other book called Captivating. It's the look into a woman's soul. I'll let you know how that goes:-)
The book talks about 3 ways of dealing with anger. Stuffing. Spewing. Studying. I am a spewer. I can't help it. If I keep it inside too long it festers and eventually eats away at my thoughts or emotions. But the book offers 2 simple questions. What am I angry about? And What am I going to do with my anger? Basic, but profound. It also talks about figuring out what your buttons are and recognizing them when they are pushed. If you can identify your buttons and communicate them to your spouse, lots of arguments might be saved. Then there's responsibility. If there's anything I learned from this book it is how to properly take responsibility for my anger. First I need to take a time out. Then I call out to God. After that I can choose a different reaction. I am 100 % empowered to control my own thoughts.
The most beneficial thing for me was reading about forgiveness. I have forgiven many people numerous times but I've often done it with a condition. I can't do that anymore. It isn't right. I learned that when I forgive someone, I need to do it again and again. Sometimes for days or months. And I also need to learn to forget. It's hard to imagine ever forgetting some of the events I've witnessed in life, but the author talks about specifically letting go of those moments. When you start to relive those moments that hurt you again and again, you MUST remind yourself of all the ways you have sinned and how God has forgiven you 100 times over without even a thought. That idea alone helps me forget all the wrongs that have taken place against me. It's hard, believe me. But it can be done.
Five Keys to Cultivating a Forgiving Spirit
1. Be tender with Your Spouse
2. Practice Empathy
3. Affirm Hurt and Admit Any Wrong
4. Touch Gently
5. Seek Forgiveness and Wait for a Response
Now, I think those keys can be used with any relationship. I tend to use this soon in a relationship that has been rocky for sometime now.
Another great book I read last weekend is called Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. Oh my gosh - this book changed my life. It's about discovering the secrets of a man's soul. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. Ace read it in a day!! Here's what the back of the jacket reads:
Every man was once a boy. And every little boy has dreams, big dreams of being the hero, of beating the bad guys, of doing daring feats and rescuing the damsel in distress. Every little girl has dreams, too: of being rescued by her prince and swept up into a great adventure, knowing that she is the beauty. But what happens to those dreams when we grow up? Walk into most churches, have a look around, and ask yourself: What is a Christian man? Without listening to what is said, look at what you find there. Most Christian men are...bored.
In Wild at Heart, the author invites men to recover their masculine heart, defined in the image of a passionate God. And he invites women to discover the secret of a man's soul and to delight in the strength and wildness men were created to offer.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good. I wish all women would read it. I feel like I can understand men better and definitely understand the squirt better. The author basically says that we are raising boys to be like women. But the truth is - they aren't. And they never will be! GAH! Again, so so so basic, but yet profound. I already feel like I want to be a better wife and mother. Or even a better coworker!! I look at the men I work with - they are BORED. They are programed to do what their wives want them to do that they have forgotten where they come from and what burns deep inside them. It's sad!
Anyhoo... we are moving on to Eldredge's other book called Captivating. It's the look into a woman's soul. I'll let you know how that goes:-)
Hot tubs - YUCK!
Ever heard of Hot Tub Folliculitis? Well, you have now! I should have taken pictures but then again, I sort of don't want proof of the nasty sores I had for over two weeks. Ok... so a while ago I think I posted something about being bit multiple times. I did all this research and never found what it was that bit me. Then last Saturday Ace and I took the squirt to the pool. Well the water was chilly so we went to the hot tub. When we were done, we immediately washed the kid and then I got out of my suit, dressed into something else and headed out for a couple hours. When I got back I showered and Ace and I went out that night. Fast forward to Tuesday morning. I get up, shower and as I'm soaping my torso feel some bumps. I look and sure enough I've got those bumps again! Dammit! So when I got to work I researched Bed Bugs. This had to be it. After a few hours I decided to call our apartment leasing office and see if they'd ever had issues with bugs. I called and spoke with "A". I told her, "I need to ask you a peculiar question." "Have ya'll ever had an issue with bed bugs?" She says, "Yes, in the past but we treated the area and they didn't come back. Why? What's going on?" I begin to describe what's happened and she says, "OH! That's Hot Tub Folliculitis. Don't worry, you don't have bed bugs. Another resident came in this morning after seeing the doctor and that's what he diagnosed her with. Same symptoms and everything."
OH MY GOSH!! Seriously? It's an infection of the hair follicle that is caused by bacteria in un-clean hot-tubs. GRODY!!!! I seriously have never ever felt so disgusted in all my life. I have since scrubbed my skin every day and slowly the bumps are going away. But they hurt! And itch! Ugh. It's nasty. SOOOOOOO.... I am never ever setting a toenail in another hot tub for as long as I live. Sorry for those who have private hot tubs - I just can't do it.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
**As a side note** I am really REALLY thankful that neither Ace or the squirt got this disgusting infection.
OH MY GOSH!! Seriously? It's an infection of the hair follicle that is caused by bacteria in un-clean hot-tubs. GRODY!!!! I seriously have never ever felt so disgusted in all my life. I have since scrubbed my skin every day and slowly the bumps are going away. But they hurt! And itch! Ugh. It's nasty. SOOOOOOO.... I am never ever setting a toenail in another hot tub for as long as I live. Sorry for those who have private hot tubs - I just can't do it.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
**As a side note** I am really REALLY thankful that neither Ace or the squirt got this disgusting infection.
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